The sun was swelling, the chops were sizzling, the snags were spitting, the salad was sagging and the flies were swarming when a loaded question brought the weekend barbecue to a stunning halt.
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"So whaddya reckon about this Voice thing?"
An awkward silence descended. Someone coughed uncomfortably. Another lunged for their phone pretending they'd just received a text message.
"...load of crap, I reckon. Bloody outrageous, actually. I mean, how fair is it to change the constitution to recognise just one group of people?"
You could read the thought balloons floating above everyone's heads: "Are we really going to discuss this today?"..."Why can't we exchange banalities about the weather?"..."I think it's time to go to the loo."
But barbecue etiquette meant there was no avoiding the question. Suddenly and unexpectedly the table was engulfed in a loud and fiery argument.
Passion quickly made way for venom. The No's held the overwhelming majority and denounced next weekend's referendum as a waste of time and money. The Yes's - two of them - rolled their eyes and raised the temperature by hinting racism was at play. The only Undecided studied a column of ants trooping up the tablecloth.
Lips curled, jaws clenched and eyes turned diamond hard. If this was a Western movie fingers would have been caressing triggers and the bartender would have dived to the floor. Last weekend's backyard barbecue soon reached a point of no return. Despite a flurry of promises to catch up soon, the day ended on a discordant, unsettled note.
A similar jarring sound is now reverberating around the country. The Voice to Parliament issue has become an anguished wail, splitting families, friends and communities. But whether you're voting "yes", "no" or belong to that significant group of Indifferents, what is staggering is not the heat of the debate we're enduring but its puerile quality.
Never before in history have humans had access to so much information and facts. Yet we live in a new Age of Ignorance. Hardly anyone at last weekend's barbecue had read the Uluru Statement from the Heart or studied the decades-long path leading to it - all easily available online and surely a basic starting point for any informed decision.
But then that's the point about the sewer of stupidity flowing through this national debate. Australia is the new Babble-On, where the No's sound like a choir of Sky News presenters and the Yes's resemble a cabal of columnists at The Guardian, where the shouts and pleas on talkback radio and social media are rarely based on research but rely instead on pre-existing biases and beliefs.
"You are not entitled to your opinion," said the American writer Harlan Ellison. "You are entitled to your informed opinion. No-one is entitled to be ignorant."
Ellison was a combative and pugnacious author who wrote a lot of mature science fiction. But even he would have strained to imagine a future where echo chambers had replaced polite debating forums, where people only listened to what they wanted to hear.
The chasm between Australia's conservative and liberal voices might not be as large or as violent as we have seen in the US, but it's widening. The referendum on a Voice to Parliament has only magnified the issue and much of the blame can be rightly sheeted home to Anthony Albanese and Peter Dutton - Albanese for the vague, clumsy way he introduced the topic and Dutton for his politics-at-all-cost negativity.
Don't underestimate the powerful effect two of this century's most defining moments have had on the psyche of the voting public, either. The uncertainty of the War on Terror was followed two decades later by the uncertainty of a global pandemic and a series of severe lockdowns. It was inevitable that a traditionally conservative and rule-obeying nation like Australia would grow more cautious.
Science has already proven that people become more conservative when afraid or feeling threatened. Brain scans of test subjects who self-identify as conservative show larger and more active amygdalas on the right side of their brains - an area long associated with experiencing fear and anxiety about the unknown. Conservatives also report enjoying greater meaning in their lives than those with more liberal views.
Other studies suggest those with liberal outlooks are more likely to describe themselves as loving and compassionate, while conservatives prefer words like "successful", "ambitious" and "responsible".
So there is more behind this Voice referendum than you might imagine. But don't just take my word for it. Be un-Australian for once and do some homework of your own.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Do you think the debate on a Voice to Parliament is dividing the country? What sort of research have you undertaken to help inform your opinion? Have any of the arguments put forward by the "yes" and "no" camps changed your mind on how to vote? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- On notice to mind his out-of-court commentary, former US president Donald Trump has returned to his New York civil fraud trial as his lawyers questioned an accountant who prepared financial statements at the heart of the case.
- Brett Andrew Button, the man at the wheel of a bus that crashed at Greta, killing 10 passengers and injuring 25 others, did did not personally appear in court this week for a mention - but the case will come back in November as parties wait for the delivery of expert reports.
- Renters have been delivered more bad news with new data showing that the number of homes available to rent is at its lowest since 2012. The newly released numbers also show where people are paying the highest rent.
- Country pharmacists are counting the cost of new 60-day prescriptions.
- And a snake wrangler has found the world's second-deadliest snake curled up in the couch of a Sunshine Coast home.
THEY SAID IT: "Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." - Martin Luther King.
YOU SAID IT: We asked.... Are banks still behaving badly?
Bob says: "Yes, banks are still bastards. Nothing has changed. When the findings of the royal commission were handed down, you could hear the sighs of relief from all over the country. Some resigned or retired, but no one was charged and no one went to jail. The big end of town looked after itself and they were all let off the hook. Business as usual."
Darryl says it doesn't stop there: "It's not just on mortgage holders, they are also ripping off credit card holders as well ... If you think they are behaving badly now, wait until they get all of us cashless and see what fees you pay and we will be doing all the work."
Maggie think there's a communication problem, too: "Ring the bank? Have a conversation with the bank? Really? I had a minor issue with my ANZ phone banking, and rang to get it resolved. After nearly an hour on hold, I decided that as I was going to town the next day, I would call in to the branch. That I did, and was offered an appointment for the following day. And it couldn't be a phone appointment; I had to drive to town again. By contrast, the local mutual bank, Regional Australia Bank, is ever-available in person or by phone, and ever-helpful."
THE NEWS YOU NEED TO KNOW: